The worst. You look smoking hot in a bikini swimsuit that shows all the right curves and then some joker with a camera fetish takes a bad photo of you from the wrong angle. The feeling you get when you see the pics is the worst. That’s what happened to Scarlett Johansson recently when new bikini beach photos surfaces. Not quite as flattering as those in-the-buff pics that were stolen from her cel phone and leaked on the internet, but causing quite the stir nonetheless. The actress is still darling and trim but guess what? She’s got a cellulite problem on the back of her legs just like the rest of the women around the world who have not had cosmetic surgery on that pesky area yet and are over the age of 12.
The Blemish was the website that reported the celebrity diet news (of sorts). Posting a slew of pics from her beach outing with her new boyfriend what’s-his-name (insert flavor of the day), the famous Hollywood starlet Scarlett Johansson was exposed for being just exactly the type of woman she really is: the typical girl every guy wishes lived next door. She’s so perfect even her imperfections make her seem more perfect.
Johansson is more famous for being the ex-wife of actor Ryan Reynolds — the guy voted sexiest man of the year when they broke up and he was allegedly (but not admittedly) diddling his now girlfriend and then Green Lantern co-star. OOPS! The X-Men: Wolverine hottie America fell in love with when he played the lead character in the funny college movie Van Wilder thought no one would notice but everyone did. Here’s how the strange celebrity news story goes…
Ryan Reynolds is famous for his abs more than his ex, but since they split he’s been dating Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. She’s blonde like Johansson and the celebrity couple allegedly had a thing starting when he and wifey decided to split.
When Ryan and Scarlett separated, she started fooling around with humanitarian activist Sean Penn. Yes, he was a million years older than he and rumors are that he simply could not stand her immature and needy clinginess. However, the ex-husband of Madonna (yes, the same Madonna who just sang the halftime show for the Super Bowl) was going through an unusual midlife crisis of his own [of sorts].
Rather than running around in sports cars like Porsches, getting drunk, and bedding a bunch of 19-year-olds on the sly like so many middle-aged men tend to do when they make the switch from testosterone fueling their daily vigor and vim to letting SEE-ALL-ASS perk up their private parts with reckless abandon, Penn did something unique.
He left Hollywood and moved to Haiti. The actor is still there today, helping the earthquake victims survive, rebuild, and essentially economically resuscitate. He’s like a regular George Clooney… without the trappings of being “good-looking” that come along with being the real version of him.
While Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson seem to have split amicably, break up they did. In the midst of it, her provocative cell phone pics that had been taken for someone else’s eyes than the general public leaked out, went viral, and made her famous for being a well-built starlet. Not to thin and not too thick, Johansson seemed to look almost airbrushed perfect. She did not even need to diet.
But then, the photos posted on The Blemish hit.
The good news is that ScarJo — as she is so affectionately nicknamed by celebrity gossip writers like Perez Hilton — has cellulite on her legs like the rest of us. I can’t begin to tell you how much of a relief that is to know that at least one woman in Hollywood has a perfectly heart-shaped backside that has less than an airbrushed finish.
Will the new photos make Scarlett Johansson run right out to get plastic surgery and spa treatments for cellulite to minimize the problem? In a strange way we hope not, as it seems like she’s in good shape, likes her life and body right now the way that it is, and we hope she won’t go all nut-zo after seeing these pics worrying about dieting too much to get rid of it.
After all, most women can diet until they look like toothpicks and still have it. Sit in the front row of any bikini fashion show or be brave enough to visit even a high-end gentleman’s club and look close. You’ll immediately see it on the world’s most beautiful women. But I digress…
Very much so in the same way that chocolate gives us hope, seeing real women’s bodies on the idols we choose to worship in Hollywood as the representatives of the female race that have the perfect forms is somehow beyond comforting. Seeing Scarlett has a cute, round, and perky backside that she sits down on like a real lady is endearing. We hope she finds this article flattering as we say, “Thank you, Scarlett Johansson for showing good form.”
As for Ryan Reynolds fooling around with Blake Lively or even thinking about it while he was still married to Scarlett? Well, they might look fabulously fit but bad karma hit the Green Lantern film. Ticket sales were abysmal compared to other blockbuster films and while the paparazzi have continued to follow-up on the pair, for the most part the celebrity couple has gone unnoticed.
Blake Lively does not look like a home wrecker so much as a rebound girl. After all, once she and Reynolds stopped working on the movie together she did date eco-friendly actor Leonardo DiCaprio for a bit.
But poor Ryan Reynolds (who is a clean energy advocate and good pal of actress Sandra Bullock) seems to be about as popular this year as Ryan Park was on The Bachelorette last year. Remember him? That happy guy? He’s the solar energy company owner that Bachelorette Ashley Hebert kicked to the curb. Now he’s remembered as one of the least liked bachelor choices out of all the seasons despite the fact he’s cute, really well-built, a green celebrity, and rich.
The whole situation with Reynolds and Lively seems to have been an unfortunate series of events for him. To that end, even with cellulite and divorce papers in hand, ScarJo in her blue bikini wins! More free press for her from the celebrity sighting… and nothing really significant being discussed in the press about him.