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Social Issues: Kate Gosselin family drama exposes negative side of single parenting

September 14th, 2011 at 11:30 am by Max Mihn Leave a reply »

Social Issues: Kate Gosselin family drama exposes negative side of single parenting Kate Gosselin is taking heavy criticism after her reality TV show cancellation. Since the final episode aired, Gosselin has expressed great angst about what she will do next to feed her family. Taking pot shots at Jon Gosselin left and right, she’s not winning any friends or doing herself any favors when it comes to fan base popularity. Having bought herself a new two-seater Audi TT car seems to have been the final straw for most who feel the mom of 8 has not used her star power wisely or for the real benefit of her celebrity kids.

One person following the saga is Jeane Clark, who responded to a breaking news article about Kate on September 13, 2011. Saying, “Jon may not be the most perfect person, but he’s never tried to exploit those kids for his own fame. Kate desperately craves attention and fame, and she’s determined to get it in spite of her children. She’s not doing this for the kids – she’s doing it for herself…” she seems to sum up the feeling many single moms and loving parents have about the star.

Because most single parents and lots of mom who have parenting help from husbands go without luxuries like spa trips, extensive and expensive beauty regimes, personal trainers, lavish vacations, nannies, and frequent shopping trips to luxury boutiques and department stores, they are finding Kate’s self-indulgent behavior hard to appreciate.

Remember when Kate was outraged that her husband had a sports car that only sat 4 or 5 — and that was when she was married? Now that she’s single and unemployed, purchased a luxury sports car that seats two (yep — the Audi TT).

Remember when she was outraged he was dating? Now, Kate has been spotted hanging around bars and trying to pick up men wherever she goes. Granted, it looks like the most stone-faced Dancing With The Stars competitor ever has continued to strike out no matter how much she jogs, works out, or blondes her hair, but still. Her moral position that posits her as the more responsible parent is being questioned for sure.

When Kate remarked on camera that Jon Gosselin is a mediocre parent at best and that his financial contribution might pay for the kids school lunch money every day, single moms who have suffered through years of unfair court orders had one unanimous though — SHE IS LUCKY TO BE GETTING THAT. Many single moms these days don’t.

You see, when a woman decides to have children in this day and age, the burden of responsibility for care and finances typically falls on her if the relationship breaks up.

Why?

Because the parent who assumes primary care is responsible for just that — the primary care and responsibility for taking care of their children. Whether a parent has one child, two, three, or eight makes no difference. The more children a family has, the less “pie” there should be for each child to divy up, as parents financial resources are limited no matter how rich (or conversely poor) you are.

That’s where responsible procreation comes into play.

If you are a female and have one child, be prepared to finance that child and care for that child without help. Deadbeat dads failing to honor court ordered responsibility, greedy ex-wives and current girlfriends or new spouses that hate the old, and real life economic hard times can all block the flow of fiscal help to a home.

If Jon Gosselin cared about himself and his wife, he would not have encouraged her to have so many kids. If his wife was not living with her tail in the air and her head in the clouds dreaming about the goldmine of attention and pity aid she would get for having more than two kids, she would not be in her current situation.

Bottom line, even if Kate goes back to nursing full-time, she’s going to be working 12-16 hour days at least 4 days a week to earn full-time wages and benefits. From that money — which one might expect to earn $40 – $100k per year — she will have to pay her part of the financial responsibility for the children. She’s also going to have to cover their health insurance, uncovered medical and dental expenses, the expenses of keeping a home, tuition, tutoring, any recreational interests (like sports or art), clothing, shoes, food, and yes — lunch money for school.

If she continues to make more money than Jon — like she always has — most states would apportion a percentage of the wage each parent earns as their responsibility. If Kate was earning $100K but Jon only brings in $50k, her percentage of fiscal responsibility would be more.

The kicker is, that if she did not want the burden of caring for the brood, she could give far more liberal visitation rights to Jon than she does — or could let him assume primary care. Then, she could pursue her book deals and becoming a talk show host as much as she wanted, leaving him to cook meals, clean the house, and wipe noses.

Because the primary care parent always shoulders a greater financial and emotional burden caring for the kids, the parent who follows the letter of the law and just sends the state ordered child support gets off far easier. They are not the parent losing sleep at night about how to pay the babysitter or buy new Nike tennis shoes so a kid will feel confident in gym class. They are not worried about how to pay for things like stitches or a cavity or shots for allergies.

Non-custodial parents who abuse the system legally and morally by not playing a close part in their kids lives and only pay the minimum child support get off easy — but you can’t fault them if they try to do more hands-on things with the kids and the custodial parent won’t let them.

If a child is staying at the home of an NCP and wants a sandwich, the money for the food they eat is not coming out of the child support. It comes out of the weekly paycheck for that parent (as food in his or her fridge). If that same child gets sick and needs to stay home from school, whatever parent is caring for them needs to stay up with them at night and call in to work and care for them the next day.

That’s why a parent who is greedy about keeping children 100% of the time from their ex don’t deserve sympathy. The burden they place on themselves and the harm they do to the kids by not co-parenting in a way that is nurturing and healthy to all parties involved (including parents as well as children) is of their own volition. As such, they have no right to complain about how poor they are or how emotionally exhausted.

Because some custodial moms do everything in their power to cut their ex out of the children’s life out of spite (rather than the best interest of the child), they put themselves in the position controlling and emotionally cold women like Kate Gosselin is in right now. Alone, over-burdened, and with children who undoubtedly are growing up learning the wrong life lessons and will spend their adolescent teen years acting out.

Has Kate’s selfishness and anger at Jon harmed the kids? Only time will tell.

However, on the surface it appears that what she has succeeded in doing by being rude, self-centered, and greedy (really) is to primarily have harmed herself… leaving many men and women feeling more sorry for Jon Gosselin even if he is a ne’er-do-well.

How would you like to see Kate Gosselin use her star power? Can the celebrity mom turn her lifestyle and image around? Let me know you thoughts in the comments section below.

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Social Issues: Kate Gosselin family drama exposes negative side of single parenting

About

Max Mihn is a green superhero. Writing about the latest news in green gossip and offering product reviews of the coolest eco friendly products and green tech gadgets on the market now, he is the man to talk grass roots marketing for your non-profit organization or small business. He also shares his wise analysis of Hollywood gossip as it relates to contemporary social issues. Follow him on Twitter @green_muze.

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